Understanding Autism: Embracing Neurodivergence as Strength

As someone who has long grappled with the complexities of social interaction and the nature of reality, I have come to recognise the profound ways in which my autism spectrum condition (ASC)—the more compassionate term I prefer over Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the term used by the medical community—has shaped my understanding of the world and my place within it. Through a long and often challenging journey of self-discovery, I have come to embrace my neurodivergence not as a limitation, but as a unique lens through which to navigate the intricacies of human connection and communication.

The ‘Aspie’ Experience and Solipsistic Thinking

For much of my life, I felt like an alien among humans, struggling to make sense of the unspoken rules and assumptions that seemed to govern social interactions. It wasn’t until—at the very beginning of our relationship, many years ago—I met my life partner’s then 12-year-old child, that I found someone who seemed to process the world in the same way I did; who had thought processes that I not only understood, but recognised as being intimately familiar. That my partner’s child had a diagnosis of high-functioning ASD, was a revelation to me, providing a framework for understanding my own experiences and struggles.

Through this meeting, I began to process the realisation that I was autistic. A concept which enabled me—for the first time—to have a rational explanation for the profound disconnect I had had with my relationship with reality my whole life. In my early adulthood, I developed an interest in philosophy, in part as a way to try to attempt to rationalise my perception that I was an outsider; that nobody saw, felt, or experienced the world as I did. Then, as I found myself grappling with the complex interplay between my ASC traits, the realities of my traumatic childhood, and the rational way I think and process sensory data. This thinking led me inevitably to Descartes, and ultimately, to epistemological solipsism.

Please see my sub-post on epistemological solipsism for an explanation of my perspectives on and my theory that there is a very significant parallel between ASC and epistemological solipsism (PhD thesis anyone?).

The Social API: Navigating a Neurotypical World

If you have recently read my post, The Reality of Animal Support in the UK (Part 1), you may wish to skip the next two paragraphs, which are largely a verbatim reproduction from that piece.

As a deeply analytical thinker with a background in computer science, I have come to understand my approach to social interaction as a kind of “Social API” – a complex mental model that maps social cues to appropriate responses, like a graph structure constantly processing inputs and calculating outputs. While this system allows me to function and even thrive in social situations, the cognitive load it requires is immense.

Every interaction becomes a feat of mental gymnastics, requiring me to analyse tone, interpret facial expressions, monitor body language, and continuously update my internal model. The literal way in which I process language adds another layer of complexity, as I work to bridge the gap between the words being spoken and the intended meaning behind them.

For much of my life, this constant processing and the challenges of communication with neurotypical individuals left me feeling exhausted and disconnected. Misunderstandings and conflicts were common, and the strain on my relationships was profound.

A Journey of Understanding and Transformation

It was through my relationship with my life-partner, that I began to truly understand the impact of my ASC on my perception of reality and my connections with others. Like me, my partner is neurodivergent, with a diagnosis of dyslexia and a communication style shaped by her experiences of domestic abuse. Our journey together has been one of profound challenges and growth, as we’ve worked to understand and accommodate each other’s unique needs and perspectives.

Through this process, I came to a transformative realisation: my inability to speculate about the thoughts and opinions of others, far from being a limitation, is actually a source of strength. By not getting caught up in the endless possibilities and assumptions that arise from trying to imagine what others are thinking, I can focus my cognitive resources on processing my Social API and navigating the complexities of social interaction in a more direct and efficient way.

Embracing ASC as a Superpower

This shift in perspective has been nothing short of revolutionary for me. By embracing an epistemologically solipsistic view—the idea that I can only truly know my own mind and that the contents of others’ minds are ultimately unknowable—I have been able to let go of the anxiety and cognitive burden that comes with constantly trying to “mind-read” and anticipate others’ thoughts.

As a secondary school teacher, I have personally witnessed the toll that this kind of speculative thinking can have on young people, who frequently spend a disproportionate amount of time worrying about how others perceive them. By contrast, my ASC has given me the ability to approach social interactions with a clarity and authenticity that is deeply empowering.

This is not to say that navigating the neurotypical world is easy, or that the challenges of communication and connection have disappeared. However, by recognising and leveraging the unique strengths of my autistic mind, I have found a way to be true to myself while still building meaningful relationships and making a positive impact in the world.

A Message of Hope and Empowerment

To my fellow neurodivergent individuals, I offer this message: Your differences are not weaknesses but potential sources of strength and insight. By embracing the unique ways in which your mind processes the world, you can unlock your own superpowers and find greater clarity, authenticity, and connection in your lives.

And to the wider world, I offer a challenge: to recognise and value the diversity of human experience, and to create a society that is more inclusive and accommodating of those whose minds work differently. By learning from and empowering neurodivergent individuals, we can build a world that is richer, more compassionate, and more authentically connected.